I was looking through the greeting card section at my local book store and while there are some sweet, witty and sarcastic cards out there, none of them actually said what was on my mind. There are some gaps in the market. Do you find that greeting cards truly represent what is on your mind? Do greeting cards say what you really think?

Maybe that’s why we spend so long standing in front of the rack, getting increasingly uncomfortable in that awful mall air, shuffling through the cards, getting annoyed and frustrated because we can’t find the one that perfectly fits the occasion, the person or the sentiment we want to express. By the way, has it ever happened to you that you’ve finally decided on a card – and then discovered that there’s no matching envelope?! Am I the only one?!

Greeting cards spread out on a table.

Here are some greeting card messages I’ve been thinking about:

You look exactly the same as the day we met, just a little shorter, rounder, greyer, slower, wrinklier and richer. Happy Birthday, my love!

You’re a terrible cook, but a lovely friend. Let’s go out for dinner.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don’t come back anytime soon.

Rock. Paper. Scissors. You win!

When life is a drag, go for brunch.

I’m tired. Call me. I’ll sing Happy Birthday to you.

For those of you who prefer to send a more traditional and loving greeting card message, here are some lovely suggestions.

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